Offer Obeisances to Her

I lifted this from the excellent Krishna Kathamrita Bindu eMag:

by Sri Srimad Gour Govinda Swami

Maharaja Srila Gour Kishore Das Babaji Maharaja had a follower whose name was Shambhu Babu. He later accepted a wife and married. Then he came to see Gour Kishore Das Babaji Maharaja, and offered his obeisances. Seeing him, one of the devotees said, “Maharaja, Shambhu Babu has come and he is now married”. “O, bhālo helā, bhālo helā!” Gour Kishore Das Babaji said. “It is very good that Shambhu Babu is married now”. Then he gave an instruction to him. “Shambhu, you should understand that your wife is Krishna’s maidservant. She will give pleasure to the senses of Krishna, not to your senses.” You should see her as Krishna’s maidservant, a vaisnavī, and that she is meant to give pleasure to the senses of Krishna. So every day you should offer obeisances to her and take her remnants because she is a vaisnavī.” This is the system for vaisnava family. Early in the morning, both the husband and wife will get up and offer each other obeisances:

vāñchā-kalpatarubhyaś ca krpā-sindhubhya eva ca
patitānām pāvanebhyo vaisnavebhyo namo namah

We have a similar system in our process of vaisnava marriage. When the ceremony is finished then the husband and wife accept prasāda together for the first time. They sit together and they will take remnants of each other. The husband takes the remnants of the wife, and the wife takes the remnants of husband. This is our marriage system. There is no question of giving pleasure or enjoyment to one’s own senses — everything is meant for Krishna’s pleasure and enjoyment. That is very good.

That is Krishna’s sambandha, Krishna’s family. Husband and wife relationship should be based on a relationship with Krishna, not on a temporary bodily relationship. Then there will be all happiness, all ānanda, blissfulness. Otherwise, material relationships mean unlimited suffering, distress, frictions, quarrelling and divorce. Someone divorces their husband and marries another man. A man divorces his wife and marries another woman. What is this? Like dogs and hogs! How can you expect happiness, peacefulness, and bliss?

— From a lecture in Bristol, England. 11 August 1994.