You may be a Hare Krishna fanatic if … you refuse to eat your kid's birthday cake because he blew out the candles and may have muchified the top layer with tiny kiddie spittles.

On the other hand …

You may be a Hare Krishna fanatic if … you'd fight with someone over who gets to swallow the leftover pit of a date, apricot or other stonefruit eaten by someone who you don't actually know but is institutionally recognized as a 'senior devotee'.

Heaps more of these here.